Society and I

 Wednesday 15th May 2019:

I am not made to fit your design,
I am not made to fit into your story, 
I was first made unconfined without shape, 
I was shapeless at the start (yet now I am spineless),
I was not made to ONLY conform to your astringent model,
There are a 100 of you but there was only meant to be one me.

I was not made to be moulded into your infrastructure;
I am not another brick to be added into YOUR walls.
Each of my days lived is a brick on it's own,
I was made to be my own castle,
My own fortress.

But this life, this model, this world, 
It knocked down my walls before I began;
Before I even had the chance to build on the foundations.
We are told this life was meant to be lived in a certain way by all,
The life that they told us was the one we wanted, was not the choice I thought I made.

The choice I made was an illusion, a manipulation, a stipulation
A blood oath signed before I even had the capacity to decide 
A bond forcing me into conformity before knowing reality 
Forcing me to believe I chose the safety of a false truth.

The same standard life everyone leads,
Only wrapped in a bow that is supposedly unique to me, 
A pretty little lie of freedom, disguising that my 'choices' were in fact set, 
A game you forced me to play that only leads to the same ending as everyone else. 
The illusion of your putative freedom.

But the fear has instilled itself within me now. 
And the realisation of the trap does not free me from the cage. 
I've been trapped in your home, wondering in your world, thinking it was mine 
For so long now that I no longer know where the exits are. 
Nor do I know what is on the other side.

But I know one thing...

I want whatever it is.