Life statement

 Friday 14th August 2020:  

I feel that my confidence has grown more in this last month, I have begun writing again, I have analytically reflected on my emotions and my life's goal and purposes, I have been practicing self-awareness (checking in on my emotional and physical feelings randomly throughout the day), I have been avoiding over-consumption of media and focused more on the creation of it, I have listened to my body in terms of diet, I am starting to accept that acne does not define me and stressing over it will over make it worse, I have began to express emotions as I feel them (a practice I have struggled with my whole life), I have begun saying or trying to say exactly what I feel, so rather than be humble or shy when I'm pleased with something - I try to say to whomever it is that I appreciate their words or that I'm pleased with their response... I know I'm still no self-empowered, ultra-independent queen-bee. But quite frankly I don't think I want to be that person, not fully. I don't want to rely on other people's opinion of me to validate my worth, true. But at the same time I've discovered I do benefit from words of affirmation, because I have realised just how important my value of 'connection' is to me. 

In life, I have a few tangible, measurable and (hopefully) achievable goals, but my ultimate principle and life statement I want to live by has a lot to do with connecting with others... the ongoing journey of discovering other people's stories, sharing emotional connections, working through dark times with people and watching them grow as they strive forwards, and experiencing connections with inspiring people that encourage the same in me. To find all those aspects in one person would be phenomenal, but I also know that with the life I lead now I can still reach out and find those things in many people. Especially in these modern internet  centred times. 

So yes.... I'm strong and independent and successful if we look at the superficial life achievements that society often judges us by; but what I want to feel, to achieve and seek most in life is those deep and meaningful connections. So each comment, each small or large or fleeting or ongoing direct message I've had with any of you has truly meant something to me; it has given me some of that all important connection. And for an introvert I really do seem to like having long, deep conversations with strangers haha. But in all these conversations, these ongoing or fleeting connections have been food for my soul and have helped contribute to me growing in confidence in myself and have helped me as I process and realise my worth and my goals and my life's purpose. 

And so I have decided to write a life statement. For now it's a draft, and it will be something that I will develop and grow and find a better way to word eventually, but for now this is where I want to start, these are the things that mean the most to me and sum up the values and principles in my life that mean the most to me and it is what is at my core the things that will make up and guide me to my life purpose.

Things I aim to be, do and give: empowering, understanding, accepting, patient, and (I surprised myself with this one) sensitive, as in, to be in touch with my emotions and embrace my sentimentality.