Looking deep into the casm that is my mind...
My mind is speaking to me in a new way; opening my memories wide open, forcing me to see what my fore-mind chooses not to, disguising it in a way so I won't ignore it. I get it, my sub conscious mind is screaming at me to open my eyes and see. And I do, I see now. But I just don't know exactly what I'm meant to be seeing that's beyond the obvious...
Maybe it is a simple as I first thought; I keep seeing people that look like people from my past, I keep mistaking strangers for people I know. Perhaps I do just miss home and I'm stressed for a year's uni work and in need of a fun filled summer break.
Or maybe, just maybe, I'm trying too hard to cling onto the past; that I daren't let go...
And then today, as I had a meeting with my personal tutor, we discussed my weaknesses on the course, we very briefly mentioned my confidence; my lack of it. I find it somewhat... awkward... to make eye contact for too long, and cannot make eye contact during presentations. Obviously this is a great disadvantage for me in my course and future career as it could hinder my relations with colleagues, clients, and can disadvantage me in MDT meetings. But I had a little flicker of light go off in my head. Having realised how important it is for my career to gain more confidence, I saw that in order to over come some of the barriers stopping me in relation to my essay writing and my education, I needed more confidence in myself as a whole, in life in general.
The only problem I face now, is getting that confidence. How does one who is not confident enough find the courage to search for confidence?
Maybe it is a simple as I first thought; I keep seeing people that look like people from my past, I keep mistaking strangers for people I know. Perhaps I do just miss home and I'm stressed for a year's uni work and in need of a fun filled summer break.
Or maybe, just maybe, I'm trying too hard to cling onto the past; that I daren't let go...
And then today, as I had a meeting with my personal tutor, we discussed my weaknesses on the course, we very briefly mentioned my confidence; my lack of it. I find it somewhat... awkward... to make eye contact for too long, and cannot make eye contact during presentations. Obviously this is a great disadvantage for me in my course and future career as it could hinder my relations with colleagues, clients, and can disadvantage me in MDT meetings. But I had a little flicker of light go off in my head. Having realised how important it is for my career to gain more confidence, I saw that in order to over come some of the barriers stopping me in relation to my essay writing and my education, I needed more confidence in myself as a whole, in life in general.
The only problem I face now, is getting that confidence. How does one who is not confident enough find the courage to search for confidence?
❤
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